people are starting to question the shark bite story
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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