Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
