So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
This house was built for laser tag.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
