if you like me you must not know who I am
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
