So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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