those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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