I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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