dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
