If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
