Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
