a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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