when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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