nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I think my fart just growled at me.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Randomize
