I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
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Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
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Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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