its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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