somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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