I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
