no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
