I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
