so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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