I want to make a zoo with you.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
