I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
