ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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