Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
True strength comes from lack of pants
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize