My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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