I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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