I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
