i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
