I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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