She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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