she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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