:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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