Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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