He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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