I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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