totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
BRING THE BAGELS
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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