So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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