You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
