umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
