Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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