This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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