So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize