It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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