Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
