1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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