She is in my trunk
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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