fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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