Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I got inside last night via doggy door
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
