on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
