My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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