Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
my vag is so smooth its legendary
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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