Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
