i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize