shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize