she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
