And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
that's an acceptable place to lick
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
