i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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