Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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