been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
