Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
someone owes me an orgasm
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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