Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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