I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize