I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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